The Rundown Slam: WWE Royal Rumble 2016

1/25/2016 12:08:17 PM

Photo credits: Wrestlezone

The 2016 WWE Royal Rumble has just got more royalty with its new logo and presentation, though of course the stage set-up still sucks since Payback 2014. But hey, I think we are about to be treated in a special storyline presenting the current poster boy Roman Reigns.

Well, I kinda wonder: this should have been made earlier since WrestleMania 2015. But anyway...

Last Man Standing appeared to be a catastrophic match to kick off Royal Rumble. And it delievred though of course, it’s not as perfect as it is. Hardcore duel between Dean Ambrose and Kevin Owens proved to be not a bad thing to kick off a pay-per-view event though it can’t topped how The Usos and Dolph Ziggler performed against their adversaries in the previous WWE PPV events.

That perhaps the way to serve an ending to this brutal feud. And who knows? Dean might have another IC feud and with a potential guy to pass the torch on; like a heel turn for Dolph Ziggler.

As for Owens, another story at works; like his dream match with Brock Lesnar soon. Or maybe, a Sheamus route.

The Verdict: 7.9

The New Day has successfully defended their tag team championships, and a new trombone in addition. Perhaps their match with the Usos has been at the least predictable by plot. I mean, sure, The Usos can have their golds for the third time; but maybe it’s another young-vs.-elder type of match.

But you have to love how Big E end this battle.

With that being said, I think The New Day will lose the titles by WrestleMania. Yeah, looks like I figured out where this one will go; the only problem: they have where will be the next tag team champs with Sin Cara of the Lucha Dragons out in sick bay?

Well, we’ll never know.

The Verdict: 8.1

Kalisto had a very brief turnaround to snatch the United States Championship from Alberto Del Rio. Though it doesn’t sounds really convincing; considering the former has taken tons of punishment from the latter.

But hey, this might do something good for both men; Kalisto as a singles competitor who can be a standout luchador in WWE since Rey Mysterio and Los Matadores, and Del Rio as part of the heel (the ally of the Authority) faction League of Nations.

The Verdict: 7.3

Charlotte retains her Diva’s championship in perhaps a clearer vision: a devilish fashion. More evil than ever.  

Okay, you might argue: we have seen a lot of that recently. But this showed more darkness this time with Becky Lynch almost taking home the precarious victory until Ric Flair threw his blazer; an obvious sign of a flamboyant name with a dirty game on it.

Hey, the Boss is in the house! Sasha Banks is perhaps presenting herself for a title picture. And eliminating Becky Lynch out of it. I thought I was partially wrong on one second as they were appearing to rehash their BFF tales on NXT.

But god, no. Ugly match, but a more dirtier-yet-prettier aftermath.

Verdict: 6.9

And so was the biggest battle of WWE so far this year. And perhaps, the biggest one should WrestleMania and SummerSlam matches went into fluke soon.

Now, were talking Royal Rumble match in some kind of different manner. For the first time, since 1992, the WWE title will be at stake. And it’s literally a Roman Reigns story: one versus all. At least this didn’t happen at the battle royale at WrestleMania.

But fuck it, can he really handle it all with six former world champions -- and some of them were Royal Rumble winners (Sheamus, Brock Lesnar, Alberto Del Rio) -- also joining the frey?

He has to win his second straight RR match, something we haven’t seen since Stone Cold Steve Austin in 1998. That could be really a daunting task on being an underdog (a big top dwag) against the Authority, with a bunch of international villains (League of Nations), a bizzarre buzzards (The Wyatt Family), and a beast incarnate (Brock Lesnar). And the fact that he’s the first man to enter the contest itself.

Can he really deliver without any unconvincing manner? Consdiering he’s on his home turf at Florida, and the fact that his WWE career started here at NXT (also, at Florida).

Now talk about conspiracy theories, let’s get on the match itself. Here are the sidenotes that I should have been made on a liveblog basis.

So, Rusev became the second competitor. Interesting, since he’s the last one eliminated last year. And just like that he’s eliminated again after a second-rope-and-drive by surprise..

AJ Style returns! Jesus Christ! The wrestling’s hottest free agent made it to WWE! Imagine the 18-year veteran whose been an international name tussling with the top dog! This is hard to deal with considering WWE has been planning to build Reigns as their top man. Now he’s earning jeers again. Shades of 2015.

Tyler Breeze enters the picture. But it doesn’t really seems impressive. How on earth?!

Wait, the Social Outcast is here. And Curtis Axel finally enters the Royal Rumble! But it all boils down to Styles and Reigns again as he was formally eliminated. Save your Axlemania to Recycle Bin. Hahaha!

Chris Jericho has done it again, His ninth. What else is new, actually? I think these two veterans could school Roman!

And here enters the legendary Kane. And not a corporate guy but a devil Kane. Another Royal Rumble class is at works, and a fatal-four is at set-up.

Okay, I might be wrong: four teachers are ganging up for the title, and for the young champ, with Goldust entering the picture; his 11th participation. However, if there’s one thing that’s lacking it’s the fact that they’re not really aiming for Roman, the title.

Did recess came early? Ryback enters the Royal Rumble, and it’s feeding time. Perhaps, a should’ve WWE champ, and considering a young gun too.

And another Royal Rumble favorite, Kofi Kingston. Favorite in a sense that he has done extraordinary moments. He should have earned the title Mr. Royal Rumble but unfortunately he hadn’t even won a single Royal Rumble match. How tough is that?

Titus O Neil, and another homecourt advantage. But uhm, let’s see how it goes, with Roman and Styles at stake again.

And another comic guy in R-Truth. What’s he’s doing? This ain’t a ladder match, pal! This ain’t WWE Money in the Bank 2014? Now that gives Kane another addition to his records; but hey, Kofi Kingston had his “saving grave” moment again with the New Day at his side. Talk about unifying the unicorns right there!

So, the bizzarre moment has entered the atmosphere with Luke Harper being the 13th entrant for the Royal Rumble. But, with League of Nations -- plus Mr. McMahon pulling Reigns from the bottom rope. Another twist in the conspiracy theories. But save the guy, he’s not technically eliminated from the match!

Stardust is entering the match, but seems the stage is not out there at the squared circle, with Rusev avenging the loss by splashing Reigns at the table. And there’s paramedics.

The Big Show. Another veteran at the Royal Rumble; and always a bridesmaid -- no gender pun intended.

And Neville on the halfway. And we’re on the roll again; while Reigns refused to be stretched out immediately. I guess he’s not formally eliminated as LoN pulled him from the bottom. Another flaw to this story, and are we seeing another botching end? Hopefully not.

Especially with the Brawn Strowman entering the picture. I wonder for a second: we might have seen a scuffle against each member sometime? We never know. But one thing for sure: this brute just eliminated two men. Can he reached Reigns number, or even Kane’s? We’ll never know.

Uh, oh! Just I have thought. Kevin Owens with a limping leg, but he’s still barely walking and it’s Fight Owens Fight time. And talk about reuniting with Styles, and eliminating him in the process! Yes, after 28 minutes! Now talk about being heel! Funny, how Luke even bade goodbye to AJ! Hey, you’re not on backstage, guy!

Ambrose is back and it’s revenge time anew! Hardcore time! 

Oh, brother! Number 20 is Sami Zayn! And looks like we have the clash of the former best friend and eliminated him right there and then. We wish we could have seen more of this soon as the NXT chants roll. The only not fair in this cameo is his entrance screen. Crap!

Two thirds in the RR match, and nearly all the members of the Wyatt Family are complete with Erick Rowan. Now talk about domination like a 3-on-3 tag team tussle!

But just when you thought this match will be over, here comes another heavyweight shit in Mark Henry. But with his age? I doubt he will be winning at all, with all the Wyatt Family members eliminating him. Good luck to the rest!

Ohhhhh!!!! Brace Yourselves! The Beast is the Royal Rumble for the first time since 2003 and we’re on detour to Suplex City! And this seems a clash of the gigantic brutes like a 3-on-1 handicap match! 

Now Jack Swagger enters the match, But too bad, his chance of making it was nothing but a fluke! Poor kid after winning the pre-show. While the carnage continues and changing the complexion of the match in the process; though it appears like off-timing. This is the physically challenging one I have seen in Lesnar.

While the Miz became the 25th entrant, it appeared he’s a cowardice by taking the headset and make it like he’s on another RAW episode. Does it appear special? Maybe. But heck, fuck it! This subplot is getting colorless.

And Del Rio goes back, and it’s a man-for-himself time! But is is just me or this match gets a little bit boring if we’re talking about numbers here! And Lesnar just took down the buzzards! But where’s Bray Wyatt?!

Speaking of the devil: and it appears he’s after the beast this time around! Good luck with that, boy! And just like that, another prelude to a potential rivalry is at works! Expect this one come Fastlane or WrestleMania! This sequence keeps me exciting, but not for long. A screwjob and again?! I need to see Lesnar explode like how Roman Reigns took Triple H out during TLC!

As Dolph Ziggler enters the stage; but the quality’s been already lost! How crap is that?! Miz enters and appears to be the smartest guy but only temporarily either!

Sheamus on his third RR match, and can he also pull off a victory? Hey, Reigns is back, with a Superman Punch! Shades of Axle-Rowan ‘15! And I am sensing another screwjob at works!

Oh, shit! Triple H! Just as I expected! Now I’m clapping out loud! Hey I saw it coming, guys! It may not be a total screwjob, but certainly he’s sending a message with a pedigree on DZ and a spear by Roman to Wyatt! Talk about prof-vs.-student! I think that salvaged this match for a bit.

And things are going heels vs babyface clearcut versions: Jericho, Ambrose, Sheamus, Hunter, and Reigns! And Jericho was the last man timed standing so far with 50 minutes! It’s kinda awry to see brothers trun soon!

And just like that: Reigns is eliminated! There’s a newwwwww champ at works! HHH at Ambrose remains last men standing! I’m sensing something new here, like passing a torch to his brother! New tale at hand, and perhaps a new swerve to Reigns story!

And for the 14th time, the WWE World Heavyweight champion is back at the hands of the Authority! Talk about revenge, and talk about showing domination. Like what they say, the Authority always wins!

The Verdict: 8.1

With that being said, we have seen a Roman empire crumble! And the King of Kings rose above them all. But I think the overall match fell flat for quite some time. But I know for a fact, this will build up something good for WrestleMania. It’s not that bad to hear Ro Moran’s words on his The SGP podcast! It may sound unpopular, but when you think about it, it’s better to see Reigns win the title again come WM32, something he failed to do so last year.

The Verdict (Overall): 7.5

Author: slickmaster | (c) 2016 september twenty-eight productions