The Pre-take: WWE Royal Rumble 2018

01/28/2018 11:25:23 PM

It's been a long while since we tackled anything that involves wrestling here at The SlickMaster's Files, from WWE No mercy last year to how did Alpha vs. Omega delivered a real quality wrestling atch after so long, to the locality's end last year with PWR Vendetta, and recently, how a third promotion here in the Philippines will fare up as the “realest deal of them all.”

That being said, allow me to make it up for all of the rundown of slams since the last quarter of 2017 as I recover from a long-time lingering mental block that has been hindering me to writer something else as The SlickMaster (Man, too much preoccupation had taken its toll on me!).

The official poster of the 2018 Royal Rumble (Photo credit: WWE.com)

It's probably less than 9 hours before we set foot to WWE's starting line of the road to WrestleMania – the Royal Rumble. And it returns to the city of brotherly love after quite two years (the past two editions were staged in Orlando and San Antonio). And still, the E has been troll-booking on what's best for Vince's business: and I'm tackling about Roman Reigns penciled to face Brock Lesnar and possibly dethrone the Beast Incarnate for the WWE Universal Championship at the Show of Shows' return to The Big Easy come April.

But I beg to digress. We have nine matches in quite a long night (assuming it will be nearly 6.5-7 hours for the entirety of the program). And three of them will be slated on the 2-hour long kickoff show. 

After the initial scrap and change of plans, the US Title will play a part of the role in the event, with the newly-minted titlist Bobby Roode making a glorious presence in an “open challenge,” something that we have seen for the past three years with John Cena and AJ Styles. I could only wish for Dolph Ziggler to answer the challenge. Hey, if he wins the title again, that could've mean something (and I mean a long-term storyline, by the way).

Moving on, let's go to the main program. Just before the previous year ended, Stephanie McMahon made another big, bold statement: there will be a women's royal rumble match. Thus, taking another step to the women's revolution that the E has been campaigning in recent years. And by the way, the chief brand officer/RAW commissioner will also be at ringside to do some announcing chores.

And there are also rumored that she will wrestle for the damn 30-women gauntlet match? That sounds like what JBL become the last person to do so a few years ago, right? But does it sound awesome. Made mew wonder for a second? Because it doesn't looked so well.

But if this match will mark the debut of the former UFC champ Ronda Rousey to the squared circle, that will turn Asuka into another poor guy's version of post-streak Goldberg: a wild winner turned sore loser after being beaten to a pulp. Other than that, I am seeing Asuka winning the rumble? Because nobody – and I mean all these 30 ladies – are really ready for her. After all, SmackDown already won Money in the Bank, so putting the win on Asukas or any other women wrestler from RAW makes it a more equal championship-booking opportunity for the WWE itself.

Seeing the WWE Championship be defended into a handicap match makes it look as silly as fuck. Imagine if KAMI – or Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn – pulled off the tricks and become the first ever co-WWE Champions? That seems ridiculous, but moreover, proving another page on the current leaf of SmackDown Live how the Canadian duo overpowers an unbecoming of commissioner Shane McMahon and losing his cool (finally) over his general manager Daniel Bryan.

Somehow, there's no other way that AJ Styles couldn't go home without the prestige prize at his waist. After all, the teaser for WWE Fastlane has been released a few weeks ago. So there goes the spoiler alert, unless the E trolled upon us this year, again, for the nth time.

The SmackDown tag team championship will be defended in a two out of three falls match, something that The Usos was lastly known for against then-Wyatt family members. However, this might possibly turn the page and have Chad Gable and Shelton Benjamin win the golds after so long. There's no other way that the Uso will retain the belts (unless, again, troll-booking takes over).

Seth Rollins and the ailing Jason Jordan will set to defend the RAW tag team titles against The Bar. With the illegitimate son aiding an injury, it's probably no secret that Sheamus and Cesaro will bag these two red belts for the fourth time in over a year, and that's an unimaginable feat.

The triple threat match for the WWE Universal Championship has been well-built that it nearly overshadowed the entire hype of the Royal Rumble (but did not on the 25th anniversary episode of Monday Night RAW). It was an overwhelming hype until the last episode wherin emmbers of the roster and legends who appeared to be the lumberjacks did not really do much to pacify these three behemoths. And with Braun Strowman showing his incredibly strong presence, we will probably see either him winning the new crown or him making looked strong in defeat.

And probably it will be the latter, considering how Vince has already booked his pans for the Superbowl of Sports Entertainent.

Meanwhile, let's go to the real thing: the Royal Rumble man itself. It would probably seem awesome if Elias and Aiden English go first and second into this match considering the musical prowess they have in characters – and possibly the showdown leading to show-off in the process.

This could probably be anyone's ball game: for RAW, of course there's a highly-possible chance that Roman Reigns will become the grand winner, unless they want super Cena to win them all and book on either the grand black or red title to make him break the tie with Ric Flair's number of all-time world championship title reigns. And him facing Brock at Mania requires tantamount hype, much than what they did at Clash of Champions of 2014 and even Royal Rumble 2015 with Seth Rollins.

Meanwhile, for the SmackDown Live brand, it could go on either Shinsuke Nakamura or Daniel Bryan (especially if the latter will be finally be cleared to wrestle). Imagine if the GM comes and headlines Mania against the Phenomenal one. But that seems to be done wrongly, considering that it is him and not Shane O'Mac that will become a heel authority figure there soon. 

You can't say it's Taker even if he seems to be incredibly in-shape. Because if he eventually wins them all, whatever happened to his tearjerking ending last year? Is WWE that idiotic enough to put another loss in Mean Mark's staple of WrestleMania matches, something that should not even be tainted until he finally retires from competition? Heck.

But if Dolph can't answer the US challenge enough, maybe this match could earned him hype enough. Yes, he and Elias could be the dark-horse contenders for this. Wish I could actually Samoa Joe but albeit the foot injury, he is set to face John Cena soon either, So this lessens the chance either way.

What if Finn Balor wins it, though? After all, a SmackDown guy has won the Royal Rumble match last year, right? Would that set a David-vs.-Goliath match at the Show of Shows, especially with a nice talkers at one side, and good brothers on the other?

Well, anything can happen at the rumble, folks.

Author: slickmaster | © 2018 The SlickMaster's Files